I have given up trying to find funding. And given the news there is another developer doing the same idea I have, there is a certain amount of panic, sadness, anger and stress all rolled into one. They have funding and are developers. But to the giving up.......
Here I am, a homeless man. Taiwanese. Honest with well intentions. It is the Holidays season. A time of family. A time book cased by Thanksgiving and Christmas. A time of giving. A time of family and looking out for the less fortunate. The setting could not be more preferable. How can a homeless man not get some love with all this???
- I emailed on Facebook hundreds of people with my same last name. Said I'm homeless and also Taiwanese. - Nothing
- I wrote letters to different philanthropists - Nothing
- There is a Doctor at St. Josephs Hospital a block from where I park. He has the same last name as me. He is also Taiwanese. I wrote a letter explaining where I am parked. My nationality. The Catholic workers he can talk to. I hand delivered the letter to him - Nothing
-I went to an event where I stood up in a crowd of 300 people and told everyone in the crowd I'm homeless and any can help with my project - Nothing. Not one person talked to me after the event!
-I emailed the Taiwanese/Formosan Church of Seattle. The pastor did not reply the email. I left a voice message. No return phone call. I finally got hold of the Assistant Pastor by phone. His reply in his email was questioning my project and his congregation are busy people.
When I say "nothing", I mean nothing. Of the hundreds messages sent to people with my same last name...not one message back. You would think someone seeing there is a homeless Taiwanese would at least have the decency to message with a word of concern of how things are - being cold outside. I thought the doctor would at least reach out. I am literally a block away from his office.
I know giving time, money or effort is hard. But not one message?? And you would think, a Taiwanese church would go into emergency mode, realizing there is a Homeless Taiwanese man in the world!! Its unheard of. Who knew there are homeless Taiwanese people in the world? I'm a rare person. And yet they show no concern.
Are you scared of me? As a pastor you want to shield your congregation from harm because you have fear?
=========================================================================
I have to stop! There was already a certain high level of disdain for people. That's why I'm happy being homeless. If continue trying to reach out to people, I fear I may reach a point of hate that not returnable.
There is a point in hate you do not want to cross. Once that line is crossed, its a dark world that is hard to come back from. I know. I have been there (in my teenage years). I know because it is the reason I have not spoken to my adopted parents for over 20 years.
If I keep trying to reach out to people, I fear I may cross that point of no return again.
Hundreds of emails/messages to people with my name and Taiwanese. Not one message of, "I hope you take care of yourself in this holiday season". Not one! Are you kidding me?
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Horrible News
Shit Shit Shit Shit. Years and Years and have not seen anyone come up with the idea I have my website until yesterday. Then I saw a news piece on jobsuitors.com. They are close but not exactly on the same idea.
Now time is the essence. And unfortunately, that be my Achilles heal. I can only go so fast as there is funding for the developers. And being homeless without a job, the speed is at a snails pace.
It is like watching your dream, your opportunity to be something, someone. Watching a million dollars slip through your hands. Its like getting punched in the gut. Sick.
Now time is the essence. And unfortunately, that be my Achilles heal. I can only go so fast as there is funding for the developers. And being homeless without a job, the speed is at a snails pace.
It is like watching your dream, your opportunity to be something, someone. Watching a million dollars slip through your hands. Its like getting punched in the gut. Sick.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
In God I Trust
A year ago, when asked how I'm going to find the people in my team. How am I going to get funding. I tell them, If this is meant to be, God will present the right people at the right time.
As tragic as my life has been, there is no way you can't believe in God if you know all the events.
And even now, my belief in God is stronger than ever. Right now, I have never been more financially unstable. I literally have no money. My sister has been supporting me for a few months, and that will come to and end. And yet, I know this is perfectly the right time, and right moment for me to be attempting this startup. My spirit is good.
At the Jane Park Startup Grind event, during networking, anytime anyone asked me who I am...my response is - "I'm a homeless person"
An Asian man with a camera around his neck literally took 3-4 steps away from me and started a conversation with someone else, after I said I am homeless. He didn't say a word and moved away. Serious. lol
So!, disappointed and feeling I wasted $20 of gas, I walked into the elevator. I held the door for a nicely dressed Asian woman.
She asked me the time. " 9:14 pm"
She asked me if I learned anything tonight : "Nope, I didnt't learn a thing. "
She asked me what brought me here:" I'm a homeless person"
.......and from there she opened up to me. Asking how I am. How do I do it. Telling me the tough time she had and how her family struggled.
We are at the lobby, I thank her for her concern but she must be in a hurry for she asked me about the time. She insisted we talk. We walked into the lobby of the orchestra entrance at Benaroyal Hall.
Some guy with a bassoon case walks by. 5-6 people with cases of instruments. Group after group of musicians and people walking buy.
She is flying out to Shanghai tomorrow morning. She also had an husband to get home to. And yet, she stood there and talked to me for an 53 minutes. We didn't talk about startups. We talked about life. She didn't start trying to educate me like Jane Park did. She shared her deepest stories. Her face showed genuine concern of one human toward another. -----She did not talk to the "Homeless" man like the scum of the earth.
I asked her what she does. "I am a Patent Attorney with a PHD"
(At that very moment, in my mind, NO FUCKING WAY. I literally said in my mind, this is GOD work )
Crucial Team Members I must find before launch.
CEO - Check
I have Erika B. I know my strength and weakness. A hermit anti social man. I may not be the best choice for CEO. I don't know if I've ever written much about Erika, but she is amazing. If this website is even slightly successful, Google or Microsoft or someone is going to steal her from me.
And the most important part, she has faith. Faith whatever this homeless person is doing...she is in.
Funding Guide - check
I ran into Mike. The organizer of Startup Grind. He didn't talk to the homeless man like he is scum. He has contacts and experience with Startups and Venture/Angel Capitalists. He is still wondering what this website idea is all about. But most importantly....
He treated a homeless man the same as any other person. He also has faith. Even if he doesn't know it.
Technology/Web developer -
That person has not been found yet. Still waiting. Have asked dozens and dozens. Not as easy as I thought.
Attorney (Preferably Patent attorney) - Check
Loree from Last night. A coincidental meeting in a elevator? What are the odds, a crucial part of your team, you meet in a elevator in Seattle, a city you haven't been to in months. And the most important part...
She genuinely talked to the homeless person like a person. Understood his pains. She also has Faith
It is now up to me to get this thing made!!!!
In the Startup event and in the past, people have told me...Edwin you need to drop the homeless introduction when you go to these events. You are going to scare away potential good people of the team who are scared of homeless people.
I am not going to lie to myself in order to please another person because of their fears. I'm a homeless person. That is who I am.
This attempting to create a website to dominate a industry is a journey. If the journey goes anywhere, I want people with me who care about other humans. Are not scared of other humans because they look different, act different or have less money. And if they are not willing to engage another human because of perceived stereotypes....I don't want them on this train!
Erika, Mike, Loree....you don't think these 3 people are extraordinary and amazing people? Do I need to post entries of the dozens and dozens of people that I have ignored me because of my introduction "I"m homeless"?
We all say, Treat people the way you want to be treated. Don't judge a book by its cover. But rarely do people act that way. But these 3 do. And I want them on my team.
That 4th member - Developer/tech person? He will show up. In God I Trust
As tragic as my life has been, there is no way you can't believe in God if you know all the events.
And even now, my belief in God is stronger than ever. Right now, I have never been more financially unstable. I literally have no money. My sister has been supporting me for a few months, and that will come to and end. And yet, I know this is perfectly the right time, and right moment for me to be attempting this startup. My spirit is good.
At the Jane Park Startup Grind event, during networking, anytime anyone asked me who I am...my response is - "I'm a homeless person"
An Asian man with a camera around his neck literally took 3-4 steps away from me and started a conversation with someone else, after I said I am homeless. He didn't say a word and moved away. Serious. lol
So!, disappointed and feeling I wasted $20 of gas, I walked into the elevator. I held the door for a nicely dressed Asian woman.
She asked me the time. " 9:14 pm"
She asked me if I learned anything tonight : "Nope, I didnt't learn a thing. "
She asked me what brought me here:" I'm a homeless person"
.......and from there she opened up to me. Asking how I am. How do I do it. Telling me the tough time she had and how her family struggled.
We are at the lobby, I thank her for her concern but she must be in a hurry for she asked me about the time. She insisted we talk. We walked into the lobby of the orchestra entrance at Benaroyal Hall.
Some guy with a bassoon case walks by. 5-6 people with cases of instruments. Group after group of musicians and people walking buy.
She is flying out to Shanghai tomorrow morning. She also had an husband to get home to. And yet, she stood there and talked to me for an 53 minutes. We didn't talk about startups. We talked about life. She didn't start trying to educate me like Jane Park did. She shared her deepest stories. Her face showed genuine concern of one human toward another. -----She did not talk to the "Homeless" man like the scum of the earth.
I asked her what she does. "I am a Patent Attorney with a PHD"
(At that very moment, in my mind, NO FUCKING WAY. I literally said in my mind, this is GOD work )
Crucial Team Members I must find before launch.
CEO - Check
I have Erika B. I know my strength and weakness. A hermit anti social man. I may not be the best choice for CEO. I don't know if I've ever written much about Erika, but she is amazing. If this website is even slightly successful, Google or Microsoft or someone is going to steal her from me.
And the most important part, she has faith. Faith whatever this homeless person is doing...she is in.
Funding Guide - check
I ran into Mike. The organizer of Startup Grind. He didn't talk to the homeless man like he is scum. He has contacts and experience with Startups and Venture/Angel Capitalists. He is still wondering what this website idea is all about. But most importantly....
He treated a homeless man the same as any other person. He also has faith. Even if he doesn't know it.
Technology/Web developer -
That person has not been found yet. Still waiting. Have asked dozens and dozens. Not as easy as I thought.
Attorney (Preferably Patent attorney) - Check
Loree from Last night. A coincidental meeting in a elevator? What are the odds, a crucial part of your team, you meet in a elevator in Seattle, a city you haven't been to in months. And the most important part...
She genuinely talked to the homeless person like a person. Understood his pains. She also has Faith
It is now up to me to get this thing made!!!!
In the Startup event and in the past, people have told me...Edwin you need to drop the homeless introduction when you go to these events. You are going to scare away potential good people of the team who are scared of homeless people.
I am not going to lie to myself in order to please another person because of their fears. I'm a homeless person. That is who I am.
This attempting to create a website to dominate a industry is a journey. If the journey goes anywhere, I want people with me who care about other humans. Are not scared of other humans because they look different, act different or have less money. And if they are not willing to engage another human because of perceived stereotypes....I don't want them on this train!
Erika, Mike, Loree....you don't think these 3 people are extraordinary and amazing people? Do I need to post entries of the dozens and dozens of people that I have ignored me because of my introduction "I"m homeless"?
We all say, Treat people the way you want to be treated. Don't judge a book by its cover. But rarely do people act that way. But these 3 do. And I want them on my team.
That 4th member - Developer/tech person? He will show up. In God I Trust
Friday, December 5, 2014
Startup Grind, Jane Park of Julep - Homelessman Not Impressed
Startup Grind is a wonderful idea and organization. It allow us aspiring entrepreneurs to be up close and listen to someone had has some success. But most importantly, a gathering for people to network with others. Mike, the organizer of the Seattle Chapter, does a fantastic job. And in my next blog, the fabulous event that happened. The positive thing that happened to me. The exact reason you need Startup Grind.
Even though I write about a few encounters of rejections of people willing to help, they are only a drop in the bucket of the rejections I've encountered. And it gives more credence to wonderful people that do treat me with respect.
Last night onThursday December 4th, Julie Park of Julep is speaking in Seattle and will be hosted by Julie of Madrona Venture Capital. I had to attend this event. Julie Park is Asian (Korean). An opportunity to meet someone from Madrona. I am hoping Julie help me find a mentor.
So I drove from Tacoma, WA. Using up precious $15 in gas. Excited.
Alas, Julie of Madrona left right after the panel chat with Jane Park. I was so disappointed.
With Julie of Madrona gone, I'm here, I used gas money. I mind as well talk to Jane Park of Julep.
"Jane, I'm a homeless person. I was hoping to talk to Julie. I know if I message her, she is most likely to erase the message. That is most likely what people do getting a message from a homeless person. Please, can you tell her not to delete and take a look/"...."Yes I have a startup. I have a website that will help people find jobs" "My message to Julie is hope she or anyone at Madrona can be a mentor"
What does a person do when faced to faced with a homeless person?
I know doesn't it sound crazy? Like being face to face bear in the woods. Don't eat me. Please go away. I'm nervous.
So here it is. The moment of truth Mrs. Jane Park. 60-70 people packed into a room to hear you talk. A crowd of aspiring eager entrepreneurs crowded around you after the panel talk to get some one on one talk with you. Most just want to say hello and good bye. You are a star.
A homeless man walks up and tells you he is homeless. For the ten minutes conversation, I can see her brains working.
(Homeless man! OMG really? He must be a crazy person. Ok he doesn't sound crazy. hmmmmmm
He want's me to pass a message on to Julie? no way. make some excuses. yeaa..I will tell him getting a mentor is like me hitting the lottery.
Ok he is homeless. I have to keep talking to him so it doesn't look bad. WTF is a homeless person doing in a startup thing? uuuughhh! Ok let me ask him about his startup. OH geez. I will just tell him any message to Julie of Madrona will be futile. Ok I told him. He is going away. Whew!)
Seriously, that is what went down. My seeking of a mentor as a homeless person is futile.
Last time I talked to a Asian guest speaker, it was the Asian man from Buddy TV. He brushed me off and wanted me away from his. He literally asked me to walk with him. And walked as fast as he could out the building never asking for details. I was hoping you were different.
To be fair, I think Jane Park handled faced to face with a homeless person the best she could. She is under immense stress to keep a company growing in order to please the numerous funding rounds. She does not have time to mentor anyone nor can she risk her relationship with Madrona by telling her to look out for a homeless persons email. Understoond.
All I wanted was a a hint, a smile, a word of concern. Any kind of reaction, that when faced with a homeless person, you react with some kind of compassion. And I got none.
60-70 people just sat through a long session listening to you talking about family, stories of you in Yale, as a Starbucks Executive, about your kids and husband. How wonderful of a wife and executive you tell us you are. And at the end of the day....
Isn't it odd, a homeless man is not impressed?
In my next blog entry, this Startup Grind have some positive results. The exact reason why Startup Grind is organized. I did meet a one or two good human beings last night.
\
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOLipJaEEIA
Even though I write about a few encounters of rejections of people willing to help, they are only a drop in the bucket of the rejections I've encountered. And it gives more credence to wonderful people that do treat me with respect.
Last night onThursday December 4th, Julie Park of Julep is speaking in Seattle and will be hosted by Julie of Madrona Venture Capital. I had to attend this event. Julie Park is Asian (Korean). An opportunity to meet someone from Madrona. I am hoping Julie help me find a mentor.
So I drove from Tacoma, WA. Using up precious $15 in gas. Excited.
Alas, Julie of Madrona left right after the panel chat with Jane Park. I was so disappointed.
With Julie of Madrona gone, I'm here, I used gas money. I mind as well talk to Jane Park of Julep.
"Jane, I'm a homeless person. I was hoping to talk to Julie. I know if I message her, she is most likely to erase the message. That is most likely what people do getting a message from a homeless person. Please, can you tell her not to delete and take a look/"...."Yes I have a startup. I have a website that will help people find jobs" "My message to Julie is hope she or anyone at Madrona can be a mentor"
What does a person do when faced to faced with a homeless person?
I know doesn't it sound crazy? Like being face to face bear in the woods. Don't eat me. Please go away. I'm nervous.
So here it is. The moment of truth Mrs. Jane Park. 60-70 people packed into a room to hear you talk. A crowd of aspiring eager entrepreneurs crowded around you after the panel talk to get some one on one talk with you. Most just want to say hello and good bye. You are a star.
A homeless man walks up and tells you he is homeless. For the ten minutes conversation, I can see her brains working.
(Homeless man! OMG really? He must be a crazy person. Ok he doesn't sound crazy. hmmmmmm
He want's me to pass a message on to Julie? no way. make some excuses. yeaa..I will tell him getting a mentor is like me hitting the lottery.
Ok he is homeless. I have to keep talking to him so it doesn't look bad. WTF is a homeless person doing in a startup thing? uuuughhh! Ok let me ask him about his startup. OH geez. I will just tell him any message to Julie of Madrona will be futile. Ok I told him. He is going away. Whew!)
Seriously, that is what went down. My seeking of a mentor as a homeless person is futile.
Last time I talked to a Asian guest speaker, it was the Asian man from Buddy TV. He brushed me off and wanted me away from his. He literally asked me to walk with him. And walked as fast as he could out the building never asking for details. I was hoping you were different.
To be fair, I think Jane Park handled faced to face with a homeless person the best she could. She is under immense stress to keep a company growing in order to please the numerous funding rounds. She does not have time to mentor anyone nor can she risk her relationship with Madrona by telling her to look out for a homeless persons email. Understoond.
All I wanted was a a hint, a smile, a word of concern. Any kind of reaction, that when faced with a homeless person, you react with some kind of compassion. And I got none.
60-70 people just sat through a long session listening to you talking about family, stories of you in Yale, as a Starbucks Executive, about your kids and husband. How wonderful of a wife and executive you tell us you are. And at the end of the day....
Isn't it odd, a homeless man is not impressed?
In my next blog entry, this Startup Grind have some positive results. The exact reason why Startup Grind is organized. I did meet a one or two good human beings last night.
\
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOLipJaEEIA
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
The Challenge
I just wrote a friend and this is the stuff I wrote.....
You have known me long enough and know I'm not insane. (Well, as I wrote that, I had my doubts hahahah) I"m all in on my website. And God has prepared me for this. Look at the challenges facing me
The mental and physical strain of being homeless. I'm in a van in the NW. Everything is always damp in the van. Not a good feeling.
Money to develop, revise a website
Money for a business license
Money for patent application.
All this was no income? I walked around the past 2 weeks with $10 to my name.
The patent/intellectual part of this journey is a must. There is a custom application that must be made. (I can already see will cost thousands). It is what will give me the niche. I"m going into a field with so many already established major players. Monster.com, Indeed, LinkIn. It be too easy for them to take my idea and develop it themselves. Without some legal protection and a major venture capitalist on my side....it will be doomed to fail. And yet, I already realize you can't patent ideas.
The insane part of this journey?
Make a website with no money.
Fight through mental lonely and physical discomforts of being homeless.
Try to dominate a internet landscape with your website filled with billion dollar established websites.
These obstacles are insane!
The challenge is established. It is as if all the hardship of my amazing life was a training ground for this.
Challenge accepted.
You have known me long enough and know I'm not insane. (Well, as I wrote that, I had my doubts hahahah) I"m all in on my website. And God has prepared me for this. Look at the challenges facing me
The mental and physical strain of being homeless. I'm in a van in the NW. Everything is always damp in the van. Not a good feeling.
Money to develop, revise a website
Money for a business license
Money for patent application.
All this was no income? I walked around the past 2 weeks with $10 to my name.
The patent/intellectual part of this journey is a must. There is a custom application that must be made. (I can already see will cost thousands). It is what will give me the niche. I"m going into a field with so many already established major players. Monster.com, Indeed, LinkIn. It be too easy for them to take my idea and develop it themselves. Without some legal protection and a major venture capitalist on my side....it will be doomed to fail. And yet, I already realize you can't patent ideas.
The insane part of this journey?
Make a website with no money.
Fight through mental lonely and physical discomforts of being homeless.
Try to dominate a internet landscape with your website filled with billion dollar established websites.
These obstacles are insane!
The challenge is established. It is as if all the hardship of my amazing life was a training ground for this.
Challenge accepted.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
YMCA Rejection
Taking a shower at the YMCA. A white man and a Indian guy right next to me. They were talking about some project. I heard the word programming. "Do you guys program?"
white guy "yes, who are you?"
me, "I'm a homeless person"
stare
"I have a website, I need help, may you can take a look"
White man hurried packed up, no to getting his email address. No to any kind of contact info. He leaves
I turn to Indian man who is almost done dressing. "what about you"
reply "what about me?"
me "you want to help? You have a email address?"
reply "I don't give out my personal information"
me " I have like 7 email addresses. Everyone has multiple email addresses. You telling me you don't have a general email you can give out. You going to say no to something you haven't even looked at?"
reply "Yea, sorry. I don't have a email address to give out" walks out
Me putting on 2 layers of sweat pants before I put on my jeans didn't help.
Rap music from a car
Walking out of St. Leo soup kitchen. Brand new white japanese with rap music blaring. I only heard one phrase of the music. The words "Fuck yea Nigger". I looked saw the driver. A young white bald man. You driving a brand new car with that kind of music. And you alone in the car. Something just didn't seem right.
Library Call Girl?
I'm sitting in the tacoma library right now. Next to me a 30's decent looking lady. 20 minutes in, her phone rings. this is what I hear
"Hello
Who is this?
Who are you?
Oh hey baby. How are you
I'm available around 6
Ok baby, how about 5:30
that sounds wonderful honey.
oh yea that is a nice place
Oh wait let me give you directions. I think you about 20 minutes away honey.
Ok baby, see you soon.
All this in a you know, a certain kind of voice. She hangs up. Logs out of the computer and walks out.
Web developer mess
The web developer that made first verson of HRBenny.com was so bad, he didn't even include a way to change the admin login. Now I have no way to change admin login. I have to go find and pay a developer to do that. But its ok. The whole website basically has to have an over haul.
I'm signing up for kickstarter. A catholic worker that knows me from where I park my van is going to help me make the video that goes on kickstarter. Well actually she just going to hold the camera.
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