This is FUTILE. I give up

I have given up trying to find funding. And given the news there is another developer doing the same idea I have, there is a certain amount of panic, sadness, anger and stress all rolled into one. They have funding and are developers. But to the giving up.......


Here I am, a homeless man. Taiwanese. Honest with well intentions. It is the Holidays season. A time of family. A time book cased by Thanksgiving and Christmas. A time of giving. A time of family and looking out for the less fortunate. The setting could not be more preferable. How can a homeless man not get some love with all this???


- I emailed on Facebook hundreds of people with my same last name. Said I'm homeless and also Taiwanese. - Nothing

- I wrote letters to different philanthropists - Nothing

- There is a Doctor at St. Josephs Hospital  a block from where I park. He has the same last name as me. He is also Taiwanese. I wrote a letter explaining where I am parked. My nationality. The Catholic workers he can talk to. I hand delivered the letter to him - Nothing

-I went to an event where I stood up in a crowd of 300 people and told everyone in the crowd I'm homeless and any can help with my project - Nothing. Not one person talked to me after the event!

-I emailed the Taiwanese/Formosan Church of Seattle. The pastor did not reply the email. I left a voice message. No return phone call. I finally got hold of the Assistant Pastor by phone. His reply in his email was questioning my project and his congregation are busy people.



When I say "nothing", I mean nothing. Of the hundreds messages sent to people with my same last name...not one message back. You would think someone seeing there is a homeless Taiwanese would at least have the decency to message with a word of concern of how things are - being cold outside. I thought the doctor would at least reach out. I am literally a block away from his office.

I know giving time, money or effort is hard. But not one message?? And you would think, a Taiwanese church would go into emergency mode, realizing there is a Homeless Taiwanese man in the world!! Its unheard of. Who knew there are homeless Taiwanese people in the world? I'm a rare person. And yet they show no concern.
Are you scared of me? As a pastor you want to shield your congregation from harm because you have fear?

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I have to stop! There was already a certain high level of disdain for people. That's why I'm happy being homeless. If continue trying to reach out to people, I fear I may reach a point of hate that not returnable.

There is a point in hate you do not want to cross. Once that line is crossed, its a dark world that is hard to come back from. I know. I have been there (in my teenage years). I know because it is the reason I have not spoken to my adopted parents for over 20 years. 

If I keep trying to reach out to people, I fear I may cross that point of no return again. 
Hundreds of emails/messages to people with my name and Taiwanese. Not one message of, "I hope you take care of yourself in this holiday season". Not one! Are you kidding me?